Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom?

Transcription from my living room on any given day:

Twin A (Lauren):  Mom?

Me: Yes ma’am?

Lauren:  Mom?

Me: Yes.  What?

Lauren:  Mom?

Me: Yes?!?

Twin B (Kyle):  Mom.

Me:  (turns head) Yes?

Lauren:  Mom.

Kyle:  Mom?

Me:  (turns head) (turns head again) What?!

Kyle:  Mommy, can I….

Lauren: No interrupting!  I was talking!  Mom.  Mom!

Me:  (turns head) (turns head) WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE YOU BOTH HAPPY RIGHT THIS INSTANT

Lauren:  Mom!  I want…. I want.  Um.  Mom!  Look at me when I’m talking!

Kyle:  Lauren!  Don’t yell at Mommy or else you go in Time Out!

Me:  Lauren.  What can I do for you?

Lauren:  Mom, is tomorrow Wednesday?

Me:  Yes.

Kyle:  Mom?

Lauren:  Don’t interrupt, Kyle!  I am talking to Mom!

Me:  (turns head) What else can I do for you, Lauren?

Lauren:  Nothing right now.

Me:  Ah.  Very well.  Kyle, what can I do for you?

Kyle: Mom?

Me:  (turns head) Yes?

Kyle:  Mom?

Me:  (channeling every source of patience known to mom-kind)  What is it, son?

Kyle:  Do we have any orange juice?

Me:  No?

Lauren:  Mom?

Me:  Kyle, can I get you anything else to drink?

Lauren:  Mom?

Kyle:  Mom?

Lauren:  Mom!

Kyle:  Mom!

Me:  (turns head) What?!?

….a pause while 2/3 of us enjoy a poignant scene from Caillou….

And we’re back!

Me:  So we’re good here?  I can walk away now?

Lauren:  Mom?

Kyle:  Mom?

can they not hear me?

Me:  (turns head) What?!  (turns head)

Kyle: Mom?

Me: What?

Lauren:  Mom?

Kyle: Mom?

You know that scene in Finding Nemo, the scene with the seagulls in Australia?  You know how it sounds like they’re saying, “Mom?  Mom?  Mom?  Mom?  Mom?  Mom?”?  That’s exactly what it sounds like in this house every afternoon.  I don’t even know how there isn’t a me-shaped hole through the front door as I frantically escape this joint, quite frankly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cassandra can be found on Twitter @aclevergirl.  Learn more about her family’s unique challenges and why they have hope for a cure for muscular dystrophy at byrdsforacure.org.