School, Diabetes, and a Sad Mommy

Back to school… Both Rachel, who just turned 7, and Allison (5), are in school this year. Honestly… I had no problem with Rachel going off to school. She was still 4 when she entered Kindergarten, but we weren’t in a position to pay for pre-school… so off she went to Kindergarten. She was ready and excited and I was proud. She was also perfectly healthy.

Allison, on the other hand, isn’t perfectly healthy. She has Type 1 Diabetes. I’ve been taking care of her at home. I’ve been her playmate. Her giggles filled my office as I worked. We ate lunch together each day.. even last year, when she went to pre-school half day. Now someone else will be taking care of her all day.

I was sad. My life was changing. Several things changed on that Monday. I won’t get into them all right now… but sending both of my girls off to school sent me into a sort of sad, downward spiral. I didn’t even want to get out of bed. What would I do all day? Why was the house so quiet? Is Allison’s blood sugar stable? Would she tell someone if she wasn’t feeling right?

The questions overwhelmed me. I burst into tears in the school nurses office. She and I had a somewhat rocky relationship last year because having a diabetic student… even half day… was a new thing for our school. But we made it through and we set a plan for Kindergarten, along with our Endocrinologist. And now that Kindergarten was here… I was scared, lonely, and full of anxiety.

The first week was rough. I got a call daily and Allison was experiencing low blood sugars. But in the few weeks since… things have stabilized. And as things stabilized for her… I found that things stabilized for me.

Being a Mom isn’t easy but how we react to life’s changes make all the difference. How do you cope with the changes in your life?

Comments

  1. Kelly says:

    Sending your kiddos off to be somewhere else all day is a huge change for any parent (enough of a reason to stay in bed all day if you ask me!), but having to cope with someone else being her caregiver while dealing with such a serious illness is scary I’m sure. I can’t imagine what you were going through, but I’m glad that you have forged ahead and she is doing well now. Sending you (hugs).

  2. Jacque says:

    I’m sorry it was so rough Kelly. You are right, being a parent isn’t easy. I can’t imagine the worry you go through. But I can say Allison is one lucky girl to have such a caring, devoted and loving Mother like you. I thought the first week of school was rough on me. Sending my little girl(my first) to Kindergarten was scary for me. The school was so big compared to Preschool, huge infact. I was only going to get to walk her to class the first week and then she had to go on her own. The way the school is designed I wouldn’t get to see her go into her class or even be outside of it. But she was a brave little girl and was so excited for school that it helped me. Her strength ended up giving me strength. I hope to more good weeks for Allison! Love ya