Updating the Baby Books–a Reflection

I’m updating the twins’ baby books–or what I like to call, “sentimentally catching up on three years of life in one night”.  Page 1: How do I want my children to see me? How do I want them to be when they grow up?  Oh, that’s all you want to know, Baby Book?  Ah, this shouldn’t require any thought or self-reflection at 10pm when I’m already drained from mothering three small children.  Let’s see, where to start…?

Let’s be honest–I want my kids to be like me.  Or how I think I am.   Or how I want me to be, anyway.

I want them to be independent. Deep down, I’d love to coddle them, but they need to know how to pick up after themselves, how to wash a load of their laundry, and how to think for themselves and prioritize.

I want them to understand the Big Picture–their Big Picture. What today’s events mean in the great scheme of things. To have perspective. The most important time in life, I think, to have a concept of “the big picture” would be middle and high school. These are probably the most challenging times to teach this concept, though…so must start early on this one. Is age three to early to explain “The Big Picture”? I’m not sure, but I can let you know later.

I want them to not be afraid. The world can be a scary place, and there are some bad people and some bad governments on this earth, but if you focus on your own community and the positive impact you can have, that’s powerful stuff.  I tend to lead by example on this one, but better to wait to explain certain things until they understand what all those words on the nightly news mean. There’s no use in explaining what a terrorist is to children too young to have figured it out on their own.

I want them to understand and really embrace the concepts of teamwork, being a good sport, and “it’s not whether you win or lose but how you play the game”.  Being competitive can be a positive thing–or at least that’s what I hear, since I don’t have a competitive bone in my body–but being the best or first or the winner isn’t everything.  But how to teach such abstract concepts?  If it were easy, there would be more adults out here in the Real World who are put the greater good over their own interests and are good sports.

I want them to have a sense of humor. For crying out loud, this can get you through almost anything. If there’s nothing else I’ve learned from having twins, it’s that a sense of humor is almost always your greatest asset.  Having three or four arms would be an even better asset, but I personally haven’t been provided with these yet, so a sense of humor it is! And the best way to teach humor, so far as I can tell, is to keep laughing. All through the day. And we’re pretty good at this at our house. Nothing is so sacred to not be a punchline.

I also would like them to love to read, to be interested in cooking and in photography, to love music with their very souls, and also to watch less TV.  Maybe if we had a cheap, crappy TV that lesson would be easier to instill in them.  Fine–if cutting edge technology is my one downfall, I’ll take the flack.

But my babies are growing up.  I’m trying to remember to refer to them as “twins” instead of “babies”.  I read somewhere that your children are like pieces of your heart, wandering around outside of your body.  If that’s true, have a great day tomorrow, wee little pieces of my heart.


Cassandra can be found on Twitter @aclevergirl. Learn more about her family’s unique challenges and why they have hope for a cure for muscular dystrophy at Byrds for a Cure.


  1. debi9kids says:

    Beautiful post!

    PS It takes everything in me not to call Emma & Will “the babies”.

  2. David Stuart says:

    I just tell Sydney when she says she’s not a baby, that she’s a big girl, and that she’s always gonna be my baby, even when she’s as old as me…I then tell her “This is not negotiable!”

  3. Kelly Loubet says:

    I love this post Cass! I’m so glad I got a moment to sit down and read it! It’s true… they are little pieces of our heart roaming around outside of our bodies. They get hurt and it hurts us… They triumph and we swell with pride… They love and we love even more…