I’m Not Perfect… and That’s O.K.

I wonder if everyone feels like this at times or if it’s just me? Sometimes I feel like I’m a tad bit OCD when it comes to my relationships. I’ve always had a hard time reading people. I often feel like things are my fault… even when they aren’t. I take the blame many times just so someone else doesn’t have to feel like crap. And when relationships get uncomfortable… I feel like I have to fix them.

Is this part of who I am? Sometimes, being nurturing is a wonderful trait. I’m thoughtful and efficient. But what if the other party doesn’t want or need to be nurtured? What if there’s nothing wrong with the relationship and I still feel like there is? That’s where I get anxious. The anxiety builds up in me. I need to resolve things. I need a resolution.

Or do I? No relationship is perfect. No friendship is perfect. No working relationship or even marriage is perfect. Sometimes, I have to remind myself of this. I have to remind myself that I held up my end of the bargain. That’s all I can do. I can’t take on everyone else’s burdens or eventually I’ll fall in a heap to the floor.

I’m not perfect. I’m just me… and that’s o.k.

Comments

  1. Michelle says:

    I think you’re wonderful just the way you are. If you think there’s something wrong, listen to that little voice. It might be just little thing, but it’s better to talk it out and resolve any issues before they become big. I’m glad to know you!

  2. Jess says:

    Welcome to my life.

    We’re seriously soulmates. There isn’t one single day that goes by that I convince myself that I’ve failed someone even though I fed the homeless, cared for Nugget, surprised someone with a friendly hello, and cleaned the house top to bottom. There’s always the lingering self-doubting insufficient feeling. Like there is just one more thing that maybe if I’d squeezed it in, things would be better between myself and fill-in-the-blank.

    Thanks for being so open about your worries. You’re helping others find a safe place because we feel the same.

    xo.

  3. Steph says:

    I think you are perfect just the way you are.

  4. tina says:

    oh.. we are twins separated at birth…
    i am the exact same way, I probably push more people away for no good reason even when there was no problem in the first place.

    ((HUGS))
    PS. i LOVE you just the way you are!!

  5. Fiona says:

    I get you girl!

  6. Kelly says:

    Thanks for your comments everyone!
    @Michelle It’s that quiet voice that causes the anxiety! I need to shut it off!
    @Jess You’re right… we are soulmates
    @Steph Thanks mama. I love you too.
    @Tina I thought the same thing when I read your post about stress!
    @Fi I know you do *hugs*

  7. Megan says:

    Oh my dearest Kelly, I feel the same way almost everyday. Sometimes I think I’ve forgotten how to relax and just let life be. I really like the line “I have to remind myself that I held up my end of the bargain.” I think it’ll be my new mantra. Thanks for sharing :)

  8. Kelly says:

    Megan… I used that mantra even today. I held up my end of the bargain! Thanks for stopping by!