The Kind of Father I Want My Children to Have

What a crazy week it’s been! I feel pretty beaten up, I might add. Of course, there’s the normal stresses from holding a full-time job, having a very long commute (160 miles a day), being a Dad to two babies, a husband, a friend, a son to a Mom with Cancer, a Finance Manager for our house, the Chef for our house, among other things. Yet all those things don’t seem to be enough for me. I’ve taken on my personal blog at DadStreet as well as my work with DadsTalking. That includes a blog, a weekly radio show, a weekly Twitter Party, partnering with Sponsors, and I haven’t even talked about the posting I’m doing here and at other sites.

Well, as Murphy’s Law would have it work is now all too aware of my extra busy life. I’m not sure what the outcome is going to be but I’m in a terrible quandary. I’m battling between the things I love to do and am extremely passionate about vs. the things I “have” to do. Of course, I’m primarily referring to work. So where does that leave me? Well, I have responsibilities to so many people, including myself! I refuse to “work for life”. Rather I want to “live for work”. Take it a step further I’d argue that if you love what you do it’s not work at all. That is basically everything I’m doing now but it’s not quite paying the bills. What’s worse, is that I’m putting everything that’s important to me and that I need in jeopardy.

Many times I’m faced with life changing dilemmas I think about my 2 year old, O, and my 1 year old Jake. Not so much in the sense of doing what’s right for them (which of course is a concern) but moreso in the sense of what would the father I want them to have do? I’ve written about this before on my own blog but I’ve said before and I’ll say again that I want to be the kind of father I want my children to have. So what does that mean? Well, for starters I would want their father to ensure their safety and security. I mean this both from a financial standpoint as well as a health standpoint. I would also want their father to show them that they can do whatever they want to do. That they don’t have to settle for a 9 to 5 job, working for a paycheck like most of us. I want them to have a father who’s passionate about life and about what he does in life.

If I can step outside of myself for a moment and think of that ideal Dad for O and Jake I can then step back in knowing what I’m supposed to do. You can call it my guide. Why do I do this? Well, they deserve to have the best Dad ever! How am I going to know how I stand unless I measure against what my expectations are for them? So this is what I do. Do I always succeed? Do I ever screw up? Well of course, I do both! Right now is a great example where I’m at a crossroads in my life. I’m trying to find a way to do what I love to do without losing the income that supports all these things. I know this is what many people face but I’m going somewhere and I’m not giving up. I can’t give up. That Dad that I want my children to have is going to be there! I need to show them what’s possible for them.

So I sit here today with a ton of stuff on my plate. I don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring. I could be out of a job for all I know and then I’m left with passions that don’t pay the mortgage. I think I need to go back to expectations. The expectations I have of O and Jake’s Dad. I know that will guide me to do the right thing. After all, the most important job I have in the world is being their Dad. I can mess up in every other aspect of life, I can drop the ball, I can fail but for them? That’s not an option. Oh it will happen from time to time but on the whole I am forever indebted to them. They have given me the greatest gift in the world; the gift of being their Dad. I have one way to repay them and that is to be the best kind of father I would want them to have.

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Comments

  1. Kelly says:

    Josh… You do what you have to do to keep your family first. All of this blogging stuff is fun and it’s a great oulet and it gives us a peek into the life of a dad… but in the end… Your family is clearly your priority. You should be proud of that. I know I’m proud to call you friend. xo

  2. Jess says:

    I love this post. Something that we, ourselves, have been struggling a bit with in our own household. It’s amazing the pressure we possess as parents to curb the enthusiasm and optimism of our youth sometimes. Before I was a mom, I would have QUIT a well-paying job (and did actually) when I wanted to pursue something more “up my alley”. The financial fruit that decision bore was actually more satisfying ans substantial than that of the job I had left for it. Now I fear declining a client or opportunity to make a few extra dollars because I lack that youthful confidence I once had because so much more is on the line. My advice, since you seem to be not soliciting it in any way, but I’ll offer it anyway :), is to rebuild your confidence as a dad to O and Jack. Conquer the fear of inadequacy that is inhibiting you from making the thing you love to do (all this stuff I get to watch you accomplish on the interwebs) sustain yourself, your wife, and especially your littles.

    My assistant will invoice you for my services. ;)

  3. Josh says:

    @Kelly, Thank you! That’s very sweet of you and yes I consider you a friend as well! Don’t think I mean it? Here, email me anytime at Josh@DadStreet.com. That goes for the rest of you too!

  4. Josh says:

    @Jess, Thanks for you advice! I think everything you said is very true. I’m not stopping from obtaining my dreams just like I won’t ever let my children. However, I do agree that it’s an internal struggle as well as an external one which is what I think you were allluding to. I’ll definitely keep you posted as I head down this road. Oh, is there anyway you can have your assistant hold billing until the end of the year? I’d hate to have him (like how I said, “him”?) sending multiple invoices! ;-)

  5. Josh,

    Maybe there is a middle ground that you can tread. Is there a creative way to mix some of your passions into your current job? Not sure what your job is, but every business can benefit from a little extra creativity. Maybe you just need to find the right mentor or champion or side project within your workplace.

    Best of luck,
    Bill