Tears, Trials, and Giggles… Our life with Diabetes


I don’t write very regularly about a very regular part of our life. It’s been nearly a year now since my youngest, Allison, was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Maybe I don’t write about it much because it’s difficult. It’s full of tears and trials. It’s often hard to find the giggles.

Alli Cat, as she refers to herself, will be 5 in December. I’ve already started saying she’s 5. She’s a big girl. She’s heads above the rest in her Pre-K. She out weighs her big sister by 5 pounds. Alli looks very well in proportion to herself… but it’s so hard to see her as 4 years old anymore.

The thing is… she is still 4. She’s a happy, smart-as-a-whip, snuggley 4 year old. And she has Juvenile Diabetes. This hasn’t gotten her down though. She’s been a trooper since day 1. She doesn’t cry or complain about the injections she gets every meal of every day… for the rest of her life. It’s so true when they say that God won’t give you a burden you can’t handle. Alli has been well equipped to handle it… but what about me?

I’m not sure I handle things very well at times. It’s hard when their dad’s  job doesn’t offer affordable insurance. It’s hard to be a stay at home mom… doing freelance writing on the side. It’s hard when the state tells you that you make $50 too much for any sort of health assistance. Oh… and the mandatory Kid’s Care coverage? They aren’t taking new patients and the list is long…

But we pray and somehow we manage. Just barely. Twice we’ve been given boxes of needles and testing supplies. Their dad’s work just sent home new options for health care. I’ve been offered a more stable opportunity… doing what I love. All of these things have been graciously given and accepted through prayer.

Still… there are times when I wonder if prayer is enough and it’s those days that I have to look through the tears and the trials. It’s those days that I have to find the giggles and have the faith of a child.

Comments

  1. Fiona says:

    I think every parent struggles with when to allow themselves the release/relief of feeling fear, anxiety, sadness, frustration…. but you are a rock for so many, I’ve seen you face the worst days with a smile on your face. Just know that you don’t always have to be that rock, pick up the phone, get on skype, text, tweet or scream – and you have an entire community that loves you and wants to reciprocate the love you’ve shown them. Your reality has become routine but that does not lessen the struggle nor does it mean that you have to stifle the thoughts and feelings…. you are human, and that is why we love you!

  2. Jess says:

    Blubbering. Mess.

    Like all strong mommas, you have your weak moments. You’ve never failed to amaze me that through anything tossed your way, you’re able to keep your chin up, ignore the tears (as much as they would be allowed), and giggle your head off. :)

    Love you Superwoman Kelly!

  3. kristin says:

    I’m totally crying. Those last lines totally got to me. I think you’re right God won’t give us more than we can handle. It’s okay to cry, I’ve learned to embrace my tears and then enjoy the giggles.

    We as mothers put a lot of burden upon ourselves just remember you can do it! Your daughter sounds like an amazing mini version of you. Keep your head up!

  4. Wow, Kelly. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard that is. If you ever need a shoulder, I’m just a couple hours away. :)

  5. Kelly says:

    Kristin… she is totally my mini me in every way… but sometimes I think she’s even stronger than me.

    Becca… Thanks so much!

  6. Jacque says:

    Emotional but so well said. I can see from reading this where Alli gets her strength from. xoxo

    1. Star says:

      It’s really great that people are sharing this ifnromatoin.

  7. Patty says:

    I remember the day when this all reared it’s head in your life. You were very strong then as you are now. I know it’s rough, but keep your head up, keep your faith, and I truly believe things will work out! Xoxo- Patty

  8. Kelly says:

    I love when you comment on my blog Jacque… thanks.

    And Patty… yes… you were one of my big supporters. Thanks so much. xo

  9. Our kids with diabetes seem to rise to the occasion and handle the diagnosis and daily care so much better than most adults would. Sounds like Alli is taking this in stride and it’s not keeping her down.

    One of the difficult aspects of having a child with a chronic medical condition such as ours is the constant fight and struggle. It seems like we are always battling schools, or insurance, or the disease itself.

    And it’s not just the emotional and physical issues we have to deal with. Diabetes is such an expensive condition to manage and it’s not fair that we have to make financial sacrifices to do the best for our children.

    From one D-Mom to another, I think you are doing the absolute best you can for her.

    Best,
    Leighann