I don’t write very regularly about a very regular part of our life. It’s been nearly a year now since my youngest, Allison, was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Maybe I don’t write about it much because it’s difficult. It’s full of tears and trials. It’s often hard to find the giggles.
Alli Cat, as she refers to herself, will be 5 in December. I’ve already started saying she’s 5. She’s a big girl. She’s heads above the rest in her Pre-K. She out weighs her big sister by 5 pounds. Alli looks very well in proportion to herself… but it’s so hard to see her as 4 years old anymore.
The thing is… she is still 4. She’s a happy, smart-as-a-whip, snuggley 4 year old. And she has Juvenile Diabetes. This hasn’t gotten her down though. She’s been a trooper since day 1. She doesn’t cry or complain about the injections she gets every meal of every day… for the rest of her life. It’s so true when they say that God won’t give you a burden you can’t handle. Alli has been well equipped to handle it… but what about me?
I’m not sure I handle things very well at times. It’s hard when their dad’s job doesn’t offer affordable insurance. It’s hard to be a stay at home mom… doing freelance writing on the side. It’s hard when the state tells you that you make $50 too much for any sort of health assistance. Oh… and the mandatory Kid’s Care coverage? They aren’t taking new patients and the list is long…
But we pray and somehow we manage. Just barely. Twice we’ve been given boxes of needles and testing supplies. Their dad’s work just sent home new options for health care. I’ve been offered a more stable opportunity… doing what I love. All of these things have been graciously given and accepted through prayer.
Still… there are times when I wonder if prayer is enough and it’s those days that I have to look through the tears and the trials. It’s those days that I have to find the giggles and have the faith of a child.